+ moved into an adorable cute house with my boyfriend, my favorite person :)
+ still taking a break from school
+ decided to pursue my passion for the sciences, and will be going to school for science now, not fashion
+ still have my immense passion for fashion with my current job and at home by selling vintage, and most importantly always be creating or thinking of creations and pursuing fashion in my personal life always, and at my job for now
+ been reading a lot lately, recently finished the awesome 40 Days and 40 Nights by Matthew Chapman and now most of the way through the great Dragons of Eden by Carl Sagan (Carl Sagan 4 EVER)
+feeling like an independent adult more and more, but making sure I never lose myself in growing older, I’ll change and learn and love and live but never will I ever lose myself to life
+ oh also I got asked to be production designer for a short film of friends of mine, yay for that
+ still figuring out how to manage my severe anxiety and have been struggling somewhat with my depression actually recently but I hope the depression wave will be passing, so yes my anxiety still killing me, but always getting better I believe and feel even if it’s slow most times :)
+ what else… Well I ummm cats are awesome and cute still… AND will be ALWAYS
-having to actually unpack everything in my new house
-must have a garage sale to lighten my load/collection/hoard (it’s whatever you wanna call it haha) of kick ass clothes, awesome clothes that I love but I’m drowning in
-hopefully sleeping better and feeling more rested than I have recently
-hopefully keep up the reading and finish Dragons of Eden and then will move to reading Cosmos most likely :) yay more Sagan
-tackle my anxiety day by day, moment by moment
-watch more movies
-smile even more and laugh even more
-eat healthier & really try to exercise
Hahaha I managed to fuck up just little enough earlier to manage to actually catch my usual last train.
If I had not made this train I would have had to have waited an hour for the next train. But all is well. And I will have another story to add to my repertoire of stories of my sad/funny life.
Today I left work somewhat earlier and caught an earlier train…
…ONLY TO THEN miss my transfer by three fucking stops…
Seriously. Why do I try.
The sad thing is that I’m so used to fucking things up, well, that I’m used to fucking things up.
Oh well… I guess…haha…it might just take me a lot longer to get home or it might work out and i might actually end up catching my usual last train that I would have caught had I waited for the initial later train…that probably made no sense and that’s okay because I probably shouldn’t have tried to explain it.
**louis ck sigh**
“Depression is such a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people scurrying in concern. Just the slow erosion of the self, as insidious as any cancer. And, like cancer, it is essentially a solitary experience. A room in hell with only your name on the door.”
(Source: thissickwonderland, via oneapplepiefromscratchplease)
But all I want to do right now is create…
Like really, really bad.
I have all this creative passion, thoughts, and ideas flowing through my mind right now.
Wateva….I’ll probably do a bit of both, get nowhere with anything….and end my day unaccomplished as usual.
or maybe it will go well…i don’t know, we shall see…
It is 3am.
I just went into our kitchen to look for some Benadryl in our little medicine area, so that I could hopefully get some sleep and relief from these terrible allergies.
I ended up just standing there in my kitchen by the cabinet eating sprinkles…
Soooooo, I made the pillow for a project, and I’m supposed to bring it with me to school to show to my teacher, but….the problem issss that it is giant.
It is just going to be kinda hugely awkward walking around campus and into school with a giant floor pillow, and if I have to park far away then just dang…hahaha
man it is going to be awkward
I’m gonna be that weird person you see on campus….you know, just that weird person you see just walking through campus carrying a giant floor pillow.
Apparently there are only five steps to becoming a rapper, according to the article she found on wikiHow.
Now she’s reading a separate article entitled “Don’t Become a Rapper If: A Checklist”
(first on checklist)
1. Need help writing songs
I’m just creepily sitting in my car listening to music and eating massive amounts of crazy bread and pizza right out side of my school… because I need to go in and finish a bunch of stuff… but I’m still just sitting here in my car, listening to music, and eating crazy bread ‘til I hate myself into oblivion. Awwwh yeah. I’m doing life right.
Let’s just say I’ve been raised to worship Eddie Vedder because of my mom. haha
I love Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam a ton, but in NO WAY am I even close to my mom’s love for them. She is fangirling hardcore. HARDCORE. hahahahahahaha It’s so very very great. haha
Two days ago our fifth roommate suddenly backed out, but then later that night I found a new potential roommate. Yesterday morning, we met our new potential roommate and saw the house with her and her mom. They both loved the house, and me and my three friends loved her and her mom. They are such awesome people. Later that day our new roommate was signing the lease with us!! We were all so insanely lucky to have found another roommate, and to have found a roommate who is awesome. I am renting an awesome house with awesome people. I am so excited to move in, and to just start living there.
We all had lunch together at the Crooked Crust, which is only about a 5 minute walk from our house, after we finished signing the lease, and we had a great time. Few things in my life have ever worked out this well.
About 10 or 15 minutes after we got done eating lunch together, I went with my mom to the Downtown Mini Mall (we are thrifting/antiquing/vintage everything addicts) before we were going back to Dallas. I checked my phone because I forgot it was on silent, and saw that I had been tweeted on Twitter, and so I checked my twitter to discover that I had just been tweeted a congratulations on winning two tickets to Gorilla vs. Bear II thanks to the amazingly awesome Granda Theater!!!!! Yeah, I won two tickets to Gorilla vs. Bear II. I freaked out in excitement, and started calling my friend Maria over and over again because it started around 7pm and it was around 4:30pm, and I wanted to take her because we had talked out going to it earlier that week (and she is awesome too haha). She called me back as I was pacing back and forth in the Downtown Mini Mall haha… and she said that she could go and was really excited too. But my mom said that she wouldn’t leave immediately so I anxiously shopped around, and ended up finding and buying an amazing thing that I will be hanging in our house. I will take a picture of it and post it in a bit.
We eventually left and drove home. I got dressed and ready to go, and my friend got dropped off at my house, then I drove us to the Granda. We walked in, and I just said that I had won two tickets to the ticket guy haha because thats really all I knew haha…so he asked for my ID and checked the guest list, and checked my friends ID, and we got our X’s and under 21 wristbands haha, but then we were set and free to go in! Yay! The entire night was awesome!!! We had a great time, and we left around 1am and it was pretty much over. I still can’t believe that I won two free tickets…I never win things haha….Anyways, I drove Maria home, and then drove back to my house, and I basically passed out from exhaustion. I had been up since 7am and went to sleep around 3am, so I was quite tired. I slept in late today hahaha and that’s why I didn’t do a Song-of-the-Day today. Sorry to anyone who actually listens or pays attention to my Song-of-the-Day!
Yesterday was just great.
So…. I’m not going to do a Song-of-the-Day for today, since today is mostly over.
I will just post a new Song-of-the-Day tomorrow, probably at midnight so it will be up all day.
Welcome to my life. I’m a mess. Been a mess since I was little, and will most likely always be a mess.